Seasons

Getting ready to go home for a tournament this weekend. God knows I need it more than anything right now.
I'm a little sick of scraping what's left of a barrel that's been low for a while. I guess, the most important thing I have learned this semester seems to be, that loving isn't all what I thought it was a few years ago. It means you will do what's best, even if it means you are left unloved in the end. "Rejoice in God for the time being, only if it's for a season." I'm learning to be thankful for the things that I grasp only for a few seconds, and then slip away before I know it. “People change before you like brilliant colors of leaves during fall. But yet, some of us find ourselves in a standstill of time, waiting for the hurt of memories to fade and the night to unfold around us. I however, refuse to be stagnant, and wish to transform into a radiant shade of Gold from what I have learned.”


I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

Thanksgiving

This semester has been nuts; although it has already taught me a handful of lessons. For one, I am capable of being overwhelmed and am not superwoman. I have filled my schedule with too many things; now in fact, that I am regretting. I have become numb to the things that I love and am barely getting by. But still, I find peace, and I know that next semester will be different. Thanksgiving is in two weeks, and I am so excited to go home <3 I cannot wait to release some stress by playing hockey, seeing the fam, and getting away from my crazy life here in Lynchburg (no matter how much I love Virginia). I have been thinking of a sidepiece :o! Everyone is my family has taken the tattoo route...


"By Your Side"
-Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Practical Approach

I can't even remember when this semester had started; let alone getting to the halfway point. There really isn't a doubt in my mind of why I ended up here at Liberty. I think lately I have had diligence in learning, and not just learning for school, but for fun. There came a point this summer where I got so bored that, to keep from reaching insanity, I did a lot of research. Why I actually believed in Jesus; or even if I really did believe. Research on things like The Old and New Testament and their validity. Scientific approaches to why Jesus is real. I got tired and am still tired of the nominal approach at a Christian life; to believe things just because we are taught to believe. If I am going to stand for something, I don't want it to be just because it's the easy way out or a simple explanation for things. This year has been one for learning. I now know practical ways for answering subjects like why the Bible is a reliable source, about Noah's ark, about the validity in Jesus. The thing is, I would love for someone to come along and debate and make me think about matters as this. It is important that we understand what we are saying. If someone were to make a solid point, one which is contradicting and otherwise cannot be argued for my point...I should take it into consideration to understand new meanings and views. I have yet to find these views in life; every conversation or piece I try to find to contradict my views only seem to point me in the same directions. Seems if you really do search with your whole heart, you end up falling in love with your whole heart.

Some "times."

Simple things show me God is real more than big things. I think I know God to works in big ways, but with the small things I don't think I expect him show as much interest. My problem is that because I know God is such a big God, I don't think he'll care or take part in the little details of my life. It sounds dumb when we say it out loud, but how many of us really think the same way? It's slightly ironic, but it's the way I'm wired I guess. Lately though, he shows me otherwise.


"Times"
Tenth Avenue North

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?
Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become
I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Recent Devo's Through Nehemiah.

Been back from Nicaragua for about 5 weeks now. I'm living in Lynchburg and have found myself to be very lonely at times. However, God has been using this to grow me in ways I haven't exactly been doing very well in; this including my devotions. Previous to this summer I must admit I wasn't very interested in what the Bible had to say and almost was bored with it. Now, I can't get enough of it. I am more in love with my Jesus now than I ever have been before. I understand and appreciate him with every move I make. Nothing goes without prayer. All I want is what God wants; and he hasn't proven me wrong yet. Right now I'm in Nehemiah, and find little treasures in this Old Testament book <3

This is a part of Nehemiah that I find irresistible. It is the longest prayer recorded in the Old Testament and is a part of one of the greatest revivals. This might be long, but every word is God Breathed and I really want to explain why I love it.


[And Ezra said], You are the Lord, You alone; You have made the heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth, and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them; and You preserve them all, and the hosts of heaven worship you. You are the Lord, the God Who chose Abram and brought him out of Ur of the Chaldees and gave him the name Abraham. You found his heart faithful before You, and You made the covenant with him to give his descendants the land of the Canaanite, Hittite, Amourite, Perizzite, Jebusite, and Girgashite. And You have fulfilled Your promise, for You are just and righteous. You saw our fathers' affliction in Egypt, and You heard their cry at the Red Sea. You performed signs and wonders against Pharaoh and all his servants and all the people of his land, for You knew that they dealt insolently against the Israelites. And You got for Yourself a name, as it is today. You divided the sea before them, so that they went through its midst on dry land; their persecutors You threw into the depths, as a stone into mighty waters. Moreover, by a pillar of cloud You led them by day, and by a pillar of fire by night to light the way they should go. You came down also upon Mount Sinai and spoke with them from Heaven and gave them right ordinances and true laws, good statutes and commandments. And You made known to them Your holy Sabbath and gave them commandments, statutes, and a law through Moses Your servant. you gave them bread from heaven for their hunger and brought water for them out of the rock for their thirst; and You told them to go in and possess the land You had sworn to give them. But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their necks, and did not heed Your commandments. They refused to obey, nor were they mindful of Your wonders and miracles which You did among them; but they stiffened their necks and in their rebellion appointed a captain, that they might return to their bondage (in Egypt), but You are a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great steadfast love; and You did not forsake them. Even when they had made for themselves a molten calf and said, This is your god, who brought you out of Egypt, and had committed great and contemptible blasphemies, You in Your great mercy forsook them not in the wilderness; the pillar of the could departed not from them by day to lead them in the way, nor the pillar of fire by night to light the way they should go. You also gave Your good Spirit to instruct them, and withheld not Your manna from them, and gave water for their thirst. Forty years You sustained them in the wilderness; they lacked nothing, their clothes did not wear out, and their feet did not swell. Also You gave them kingdoms and peoples and allotted to them every corner. So they possessed the land of Sihon and king of Heshbon and the land of Og king of Bashan. Their children You also multiplied as the stars of heaven and brought them into the land which you told their fathers they should go in and possess. So the descendants went in and possess the land; and You subdued before them the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, and gave them into their hands, with their kings and the peoples of the land, that they might do with them as they would. And they captured fortified cities and a rich land and took possession of houses full of all good things, cisterns hewn out, vineyards, olive orchards, and fruit trees in abundance. So they ate and were filled and became fat and delighted themselves in Your great goodness. Yet they were disobedient and rebelled against You and cast Your law behind their back and killed Your prophets who accused and warned them to turn to You again; and they committed great and contemptible blasphemies. Therefore You delivered them into the hand of their enemies, who distressed them. In the time of their suffering when they cried to You, You heard them fr4om heaven, and according to Your abundant mercy You have them deliverers, who saved them from their enemies. But after they had rest, they did evil again before You; therefore You left them in the hand of their enemies, so that they had dominion over the, yet when they turned and cried to You, You heard them from heave, and many times You delivered them according to Your mercies. And reproved and warned them, that You might bring them again to Your law. Yet they acted presumptuously and did not heed Your commandments, but sinned against Your ordinances, which by keeping, a man shall live. And they turned a stubborn shoulder, stiffened their neck, and would not listen. Yet You bored with them many years more and reproved and warned them by Your Spirit through Your prophets; still they would not listen. Therefore You gave them into the power of the peoples of the lands. Yet in Your great mercies You did not utterly consume them or forsake them, for You are a gracious and merciful God. Now therefore, our God, the great, might, and terrible God,who keeps covenant and mercy and loving-kindness, let not all the trouble and hardship seem little to You-the hardship that has come upon us, our kings, our princes, our priests, our prophets, our fathers, and on all Your people, since the time of the kings of Assyria to this day. however, You are just in all that has come upon us; for You have dealt faithfully, but we have done wickedly; Our kings, our princes, our priests, our fathers have not kept Your law or hearkened to Your commandments and Your warnings and reproofs which You gave them. They did not serve You in their kingdom, and in Your great goodness that You gave them and in the large and rich land You set before them, nor did they turn from their wicked works. Behold, we hare slaves this day, and as for the land that you gave to our fathers to eat the fruit and the good of it, behold, we are slaves in it. And its rich yield goes to the kings whom You have set over us because of our sings; they have power also over our bodies and over our livestock at their pleasure. And we are in great distress. Because of all this, we make a firm and sure written covenant, and our princes, Levites, and priests set their seal to it.

--Nehemiah 9:1-38

I absolutely adore this prayer. It is a prayer of worship to a God who has been faithful to his servants who have not. It can be a prayer for those of us (or just me) who know that I have sinned against my God and turn away from Him all too often -- but yet every time I turn to Him, He takes me back.

Post Nicaragua.

Global Outreach Team,

I am so blessed that you have supported me through my trip to Nicaragua. Your prayers and funding have meant the world to me and I could not have done it without your help.
Just to give you all a quick downplay on what I did during the missions trip; I went through the ministry called "Because We Care" which first started through Don and Pam Gilette. Lauren Reid (a quad mate from school) and I stayed in Somotillo, at Diominez's house, a local pastor who is affiliated with the Because We Care ministry. We had a pretty flexible schedule for the 5 weeks which allowed us to explore the country. We only had about 2 weeks where a team wasn't staying with us. During those weeks, Lauren and I visited the local Baptist school and helped to teach about Abstinence, traveled with Pastor Diominez to villages about 2 hours away to accommodate them in any way possible, and distributed a majority of rice and beans to local villages. I was able to see what part of the ministry functions when teams are not there to serve. When the teams were available, each day we visited about 2 villages, spreading the gospel, playing with the children, giving rice and beans, as well as bringing the doctor along with medicine so that children who normally couldn't see a doctor could get treatment. One of the best things that has happened to the Ministry has been the local church radio, called "Principe de Paz (Price of Peace)," which reaches to about 3-4 surrounding countries. Each team member has the opportunity to share songs, testimonies, messages, or anything else that God has been laying on their hearts so that thousands of people can tune in and listen.
It is unnecessary to explain that my life has been altered in many ways. I see God moving in Nicaragua so evidently and wished to stay longer to see what else he can teach me. I say all this to propose an opportunity for the Wesleyan Church of Hamburg. Because We Care Ministry has been looking for more support to expand. They are currently building a clinic on the grounds where anyone can get treatment for free, as well as an orphanage. They are also looking for more teams to come to Nicaragua and carry out the work that God has called each of us to do. I have personally spent 2 weeks with Pam Gilette, as well as 2 other main leaders David and Paula Reid who have devoted a huge part of their lives to the ministry as well. This group of individuals are the most God-loving people I have ever met in my life. I will never be welcomed into a family as I have been with the Because We Care team. This including the Nicaraguan staff who work to clean, cook, and accommodate us in any way possible. They have shown me what real love and devotion looks like, and in that way care for the people of Nicaragua everyday and how each step is taken first with prayer.
I have talked with Pam about what our church could do for their ministry. It would be great if our church takes what we can offer and give whatever we can to "Because We Care." It would also be amazing to see a team from Wesleyan Church of Hamburg come down and work in the villages here, spreading the love of Jesus Christ to those who wouldn't be able to hear. I feel that this is also a great time to bring in more of a hispanic introduction to our church, as I have seen the growth increase lately. I am thinking about helping to lead a team Christmas of 2010! It is a field for those who have never done missions before, and for those who have as well. I ask that we dive further into seeing what the ministry is about, and if we choose to support them we would be the only northern state to do so. Pam and Don have offered their time to come and fly up to New York, to our church, and share information about any questions we might have just to test the waters. I believe that this is a great opportunity, if not to just take the time and learn more about what they do here in Nicaragua for our Lord.
Please feel free to email, check out the website, and/or call Because We Care Ministries to get into contact with Don or Pam Gilette, as I have been instructed to give the number and email address regarding any questions. You can also email or call me, as I would love to answer any questions as well! Thanks so much for your time, support, and prayers through every step I have taken.



With love,

Kate Flanders


Kate Flanders
kf.world@yahoo.com
keflanders@liberty.edu

Because We Care Ministries, Inc.
Dr. Donald M. Gillette and Pamela S. Gillette
(540) 774-4197
www.bwcm.org

Leaving for Nicaragua

Leaving manana for Nicaragua, and the not-so-big 19 birthday has finally arrived. I'll be departing at 1:50 and returning on June 27th around 5. Excited to be traveling as usual, but I think the only thing I want to post right now is why I have been compelled to do this.



Brooke Fraser "Albertine"

I am sitting still
I think of Angeline
Her mother's voice over me
And the bullets and the war
Where it fell silent

And on a thousandth hill
I think of Albertine
There in her eyes
What i don't see
with my eye oh

Rwanda
Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go till you are...

And I am on a plane
Across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
In the dust on... the dust on... the dust on... the dust on....
My feet

Rwanda
Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go till you are...

I will tell the world
I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word
I will tell them, Albertine

Rwanda
Now that I have seen
I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you
In my own arms
I cannot let go till you are...

And I am on a stage
A thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine
I will tell them, Albertine



Understand this; "Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead."

See you in 5 weeks.

Summer <3

The past couple weeks have flown by. School has been amazing; reassuring that I'm supposed to be at Liberty and no where else. I absolutely adore it here and am so content--which is a big deal since I have a hard time being content anywhere in the states. I've been to DC 2ce since this month, once with just Bethany, and then the other time with a couple of people from our dorm and the brother dorm to get to know each other better.
Lots of things have changed, as usual. I've decided to stay in Lynchburg for the part of the summer that I'm going to be in the states. I literally just got hired last night for Subway :) which I am so excited for, as well as working for a Ms. Katherine Thomas who is ironically a tight friend of Dr. Elmer Towns. I was really worried that I was taking a chance getting an apartment and having to pay rent without a serious job, but I needed to get a heads up on the jobs that would be opening when the college kids left so I could have one for next year. It was a risk, but God provided as usual. Staying in Lynchburg is not going to be all that exciting though. I'm already missing my friends and they haven't left yet; I'll have no one here to keep me company which means I have to get out and make friends!
Dad drove down to bring my new car :) I love it. We got to have dinner and spend some time together -- then in the morning we went to Panera (Which he's never been to!?) and I drove him to the airport. Now I'm all set! I leave for Nicaragua May 23 (ironically I cannot seem to have a birthday in the States anymore and I love how I'm leaving on that day) and come back late June. I'm really excited; it's coming a lot faster than Honduras did. Lauren is great too; it's a good thing I'm going with her because I never get sick of her!!! The plan is to drive up to NY the 21, see the fam for a day, and then head out to Nicaragua. I'm excited to use my spanish again!!!

Ohio and Summer .

So I haven't actually been a faithful blogger lately. I have been having the time of my life here at school -- turns out a lot of plans and changes have been made.

I thought I was coming home for next year just to save some money and do online classes through Liberty (which was a good decision). Turns out it's not what I really want; I want to stay here and learn and grow (which was the better/best decision). I'm learning money should mean nothing in little to nothing in life and I'm going to experience all that I can within the 4 years I'm at Liberty. Recently God has laid on my heart a bit of exciting ambition -- to double major. I'll be graduating on time but with a Semester at Sea for the Summer of 2010! My voyage will be for 66 days and I will be traveling to 8 different countries while taking classes on the ship for school credit. You can check out this at www.semesteratsea.com. I'll be majoring in Social Sciences and International Relations: Policy and Politics with Spanish. I'm actually out of the hockey season for this year because I broke my arm in 3 spots during a hockey game at Thanksgiving break. It's good to breath here however. :)

For this summer, turns out Nicaragua is really happening. I did not send out many "faith" letters this year because of all the gracious donations given last year for the 3 months I spent in Honduras. I'll be going anywhere from may-late july depending on donations. One of my roomies from college, Lauren, and I will be reaching the UPG's (Unreached People Groups) in Nicaragua as well as leading some teams who come down for a bit. If you'd like to make a donation, contact me at kf.world@yahoo.com and I'll give you the information. Mallory (one of my friends from youth back home) is actually going to Honduras, to Casa Hogar this summer and I'm really excited for her to have this amazing opportunity. Hopefully I can fly to Casa Hogar and see the kids once more as well as catch up with Katie Hawkins who stayed with me last summer (another World Hope Volunteer). If you'd like to make any donations for her trip, again, email me at kf.world@yahoo.com and I'll give you the information.

Last weekend Anna my dorm mate and Steve, her boyfriend and I drove up to Ohio to their hometown for the weekend. Steve had to go to his army base while I got to celebrate Anna's 19th birthday with her family!!! These pics are just a taste of the crazy things we do while driving :)

prayer for the week.
De Dios,
Gracias por este dia, y gracias para su amor. Cuidad mi familia, mis amigos, y los profesores a la escuela de Liberty University. Ayudame con mis palabras y mi boca porque mis palabras no estan en un tono suave. Y tambien ayudame buscar por mi direccion usted quiere para mi en mi vida. Gracias por todos Dios. Te quiero mucho.